Reflecting and Purging – Am I Being Pimped

Warning sexual content 18+

Reflecting and Purging – Am I Being Pimped

Dear Readers/Friends:  I have been sick with the flu for 10 days now and it has been a miserable experience and there seems no end in sight, but I am trying to think positive.  This down time has allowed me to purge physically, mentally, emotionally and whatever other ways a person can release what no longer serves them.

DM and I have been texting briefly almost every day just to check up on each other because he also is sick with the flu, although he has gone to work and I have stayed in bed.  Are we mirroring each other?  He wasn’t sick before I told him that I was. 

I am also trying to purge DM from my energy as I feel his sexual pull on me even in my weakened state and it is draining.  He also is angry and disappointed that I am not obeying him and searching for a female lover.  I love women and they are some of the best people I know, but I am not sexually attracted to them.  He has found a flaw in me and I do not match the adventurous fantasy lifestyle he has envisioned for us.    That lifestyle is so 60’s and I think he is living in the past or trying to recreate it.  To be truthful at the beginning I was drawn in and I did want this with him, or actually I wanted anything with him as long as he came with it.  I had also been suppressed most of my life and wanted to fly open like a spring and try everything considered taboo or erotic and sensual. 

Now I think he is pimping me to bring fresh young (or not so young) flesh to his bed.  He says these women are for me – really?  And he asks why can’t I do something to make him happy since he will supply all the extra men I want whenever I have a craving.  This is his reasoning.  I have told him over and over that I only want him, but guess that idea is a bit boring in his fantasy world. 

Advice given to me is to just stop communication with DM.  I have started today.  It is very hard because he calls to me and I feel him.  My dear friends and loved ones are also advising me to take this stance.  Just send him love and be on your way. 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Emmerson+36911

I have included the above link as a resource for those of you also on this crazy making rollercoaster ride, and it will help you make sense of things that are somewhat non sensical with a lot of humour and heart. At least that has been my experience. She is a beautiful soul sister and friend.

Very Sincerely, Summerhill Lane

P.S. I have not stopped writing erotica and this is just a minor break in the flow.