Hot Wife Files – a disappointment
Dear loved ones, well it is the day after I wrote the finale for the Hot Wife Files series. Four was all I could write on that subject as the writing and the imagining was giving me panic attacks.
Some of you were disappointed in the ending and were expecting the three of them (divine masculine, Angelica and the hot wife) to have a sexual orgy of girl on girl, girls on guy, guy on girls, wet and slurpy sensual sexual play and fun with lots of cum and cunt juice flowing freely.
I had envisioned strap on dildos, face fucking, anal, oral, upside down acrobatics, bondage, whips and restraints, masturbation, if you can think of it, well I thought of it too.
Actually, now I am disappointed in the story and in myself for falling short. I wish I could have taken this fantasy there, and I really wanted to, but my own hang ups got in the way. I wanted to show my divine masculine the time of his life and fulfill one of his dreams of a threesome with his hot wife and another beautiful submissive who had slave like devotion.
I have included a link to one of my blog posts from January 22 titled: “Reflecting and Purging – am I being pimped”. Here I talk about how I was feeling about my divine masculine asking me to find a female lover and share her with him.
I have been very resistant to this idea and not because I am prudish, far from it, but because I had been used by my ex husband to pimp for him. I was the bait to bring women, not to his bed, but to his photography studio. This may sound innocent enough, but to me it was belittling, demeaning, mean, cruel, and abhorrent.
When I married him, I was the center of his attention with and without the camera and he showered me with love. Love bombed is what it is called. Gradually this stopped and was replaced with disrespect, name calling, gas-lighting, accusations, jealousy, belittling, and rejection as a wife, and as a model for his photography. I know that I was beautiful and lovely but he made me feel worthless and unworthy.
The women that I invited to come over for a photo shoot were all beautiful and young and he made a big fuss over each one with complements and he was very flirtatious, and although not outright sexual, there was always an undertone. I was delegated to the roll of props person, costume designer, preparer of light snacks, editor, promoter, and publisher for his photography books and exhibitions. He took the photos and I ran the show.
I never want to feel like that again. To be pimped and used and dismissed as second best. Fuck you!!! (not you my loved ones), but him or anyone else, divine masculine or not.
Here is a photo of me taken when I turned 52 just in case you want to see me and not just my face. I am older than this now and my hair is short but still much the same.
This is all I have to share today and thank you very much for reading to the end. Much love to all of you and hugs and kisses too. Summerhill Lane