No Hero Here
Dear loved ones, you may want to just skip this blog today and go on to others’ who have something more important and beneficial to say. I am just blabbing and trying to come to terms with a few things. My ex-husband and what’s happening to him, and my work place situation. Be prepared to be bored. (I am smiling).
Today is Wednesday, March 25, 2020 and it has been a sunny and fairly nice day here in Toronto, Canada. I went out for my daily run and also hugged a few trees and had a little visit with loved ones via the trees. You may think I am going crazy, but not at all, it is perfectly natural to hug trees and say a little prayer at the same time. I have just been hacking into their (trees) energy systems. Yes, I know that does sound a little bit out there.
There was a letter in my mailbox from the head office of the supermarket chain that I work for, thanking me for being a hero. They appreciated my herculean effort in these moments of crisis, of staying strong and welcoming their customers with warm smiles and keeping everyone calm. I know this letter was sent to all staff in every store across Canada, and it is truly appropriate to call the workers heroes. But I am not one of them.
I quit, I bailed, I threw in the towel. I capitulated. I had to remove my hero’s cape and don my mother’s apron, my artist’s smock, my writer’s pen, and my thinker’s cap.
I learned recently that my ex-husband is now in the hospital being treated with morphine and steroids for the pain and swelling caused from stomach cancer. I really do feel bad that he is suffering pain and that he is alone because no one can visit him now because of the virus. I feel bad, but not that bad. I am no hero. Nothing has been forgiven or forgotten. He was a terrible husband, a prick. Abusive, nasty, cruel, kick you when you were down kind of guy. He could also charm the pants off anyone, that is how he got me in the first place. Charmed my pants off. He isolated me from my children and family and even my dog.
Some months ago, I heard that he was planning his own funeral. He arranged a native ceremony to be held while he was dying to whisk him off to the favourable hunting grounds. Maybe he thought the Great Spirit would feel kindlier towards him then the Almighty God. Looks like he will not get that beautiful send off if he passes now.
So you now know that I am not a hero.
I love you all very much and please stay safe. Hugs & kisses, Summerhill Lane