Warning content and language may offend some 18+ please
Dear loved ones, I just got back from my daily run/walk and I always listen to my favourite songs and sometimes I have been known to start dancing on the sidewalk and singing along to the toons. I must look a sight. I don’t really care how I look. The bus driver drove by and gave me a wave. I think he likes me. (smiley face) I waved right back without fear.
The reason I say without fear, is because once I waved at a taxi driver who drove by while I was shovelling snow from the end of our driveway, and my husband happened to see (ex- second husband), and he tortured me for the rest of our married life about my so called relationship with the taxi driver. He had created a whole sexual story about him and me. He called the taxi driver ‘Donkey’.
So, it is liberating for me to wave at who I want to wave at, and talk to who I want to talk to and have sex with who I want to have sex with. I have calmed down a lot now with the sex part. I have been forced to calm down. Even before Covid-19, I had calmed down. Oh, I haven’t lost any of my sexual drive and passion, but there is now only one person I want to fuck. Of course, you know I am talking about my divine masculine. It is true that we may never come together and I will have to come to terms with this.
I got the idea for the title of this blog post from a very dear friend and soul sister (Emmerson 36911). She was giving a motivational speech today on youtube all about how we are alone with our thoughts, alone on an island. Use this island time to our advantage.
This may not be classified as making good use of my island time, but I was thinking about all the songs I have sent DM, telling him how I felt about him (I over loaded him with toons.) Poor DM had music from me coming out of the yin yang. I am embarrassed with my behaviour.
- If I can’t have you by Shawn Mendes: I can’t write one blog that’s not about you, can’t drink (my coffee) without thinking about you. Everything means nothing if I can’t have you. I’m in Toronto and I got this view, but I might as well be in a hotel room…..
- Crazy in love by Beyonce: Got me looking so crazy my baby, I’m not myself lately, I’m foolish. I don’t do this. I’ve been playing myself. Baby, I don’t care. Cuz your love got the best of me….
- Undiscovered by Laura Welsh: You’re the only one that I got. But I can’t get lost to you. I can’t get lost to you. I can’t be someone I am not, to make it up to you, make it up to you. You’re undiscovered I can’t get next to you, can’t get next to you. You are the only one that I want…….
I think you get the idea. Again, maybe not the best use of my island time dwelling on my past impulsive behaviours. He must surely appreciate the music and that someone cared enough to send him some, and also know that he was being thought of with love. Love is never a waste of time. I don’t consider any of the love and energy I put forth towards him a waste of my time.
So, I was acting like a teenager in love for the first time. It has been wonderful.
Sharing my blog with all of you is also very wonderful. I love you. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane