Setting boundaries learning to say no
Warning language and content may be offensive to some 18+ please
Dear loved ones, I wanted to tell you about the mistake I made two days ago. I knew it was a mistake when I did it, but I did it anyway. I was lonely and craving attention, but that is no excuse.
I sent a text message to the “ass man”. I had put him in a time out which had lasted for 6 months or longer, because he was asking, or strongly hinting, for help financially. The time out wasn’t just for that. He was immature.
Once I had cancelled an overnight date with him because he kept changing the meeting time. Can you come over at 7, how about 8, how about 9? Was I on standby? He responded that he was going to go out and find someone else to make him happy. That was all I was to him, someone to make him happy for the moment. Bye, bye ass man. I was not allowed to have boundaries or say no to him.
My mistake was forgetting what he was like. I was not a person to him with feelings and emotions. I was just a good lay. Someone who acquiesced. Never said no. Had no boundaries. A woman he could shape to fit his needs.
We talked on the phone for about an hour and got caught up with his life. He didn’t ask about mine. (I noticed) I let him talk and he was weaving a life for us after the pandemic was over. He needed some TLC that only I could provide. I let him think that I was up for this to start again. I didn’t say anything really, just let him talk. He asked if I would text him later.
This gave me time to think and feel.
The first thing he said to me was “Are you ready for me?” I understand how being socially isolated makes the wanting and needing of sex paramount in most men’s minds and a good many women’s too, me included.
I told him that I was feeling very low emotionally because my ex husband was dying and he blew it off like that didn’t matter and I shouldn’t be upset. ‘you should just get over that and live your own life now’.
I got angry. I told him that I was not ready for him and that I was happy being celibate and that I shouldn’t have contacted him. I only wanted to see if he was okay. Goodbye ass man (I didn’t call him that to his face).
I learned something very important about myself. I wasn’t treating myself with love and respect. Setting boundaries. What is that? Saying no? I only knew how to say yes. I still only want to say yes, but a no now and then sure does feel good.
Thank you for listening to me blab about non important topics. I love you all very much. Hugs & kisses, Summerhill Lane