divine masculine missing in action

divine masculine missing in action

Dear loved ones, it is Friday, April 10, 2020, Good Friday.  My mind is all over the place today and I have no clearly formed idea that is burning a hole to escape onto this page.

  I am not religious and do not celebrate Good Friday in the traditional way, but I did say a prayer this morning to our creator, higher self, angels, spirit guides, ancestors, family, friends.  I prayed for my divine masculine (did you guess).  I prayed that he be loved, comforted, supported, healed, guided, blessed… 

This prayer wasn’t just for him, although he was the first one that came to my mind.

  Why, I ask myself do I love him so much? Here is a link to a blog post called “Fire Dance”, where I tried to explain my feelings and this twin flame journey. 

https://summerhilllaneerotica.com/2019/12/26/a-fire-dance-2/

 It is not explainable and I won’t even try to make sense of it.  It just is.  Unconditional love.  I have given up expecting anything from him.  Was this all just mind fuckery on his part?  A game he was playing with me for his enjoyment and a boost to his ego?  Knowing that I loved him so deeply he kept me strung along.  That would be despicable if this were true.   

His energy is ever present though and oh so sexual.  The pull is tremendous.  I can’t help it that I love him. I am crying about this all over again because my love isn’t so unconditional.  I want him in the flesh, next to me with his arms around me and my head on his shoulder.  I want his dominate sex, his kinky sex, his power, his lust, his desire, all of him. 

Thank you, dear ones, for listening to me blubber and bawl.  The isolation isn’t getting to me, I don’t think. I have been praying for you too, you beautiful ones, sending golden, pink, green healing light.   My soulmate from another plane has sent me a cloak of warm darkness which I wrap around me like a protective cocoon.  Love you very much, hugs & kisses, Summerhill Lane

P.S. I am adding this post script a few hours after publishing. Please forgive me for being so whinny and pathetic. I am not desperate or clingy but I do want finally a good love in my life.