
Begging for attention
Dear loved ones,
I have turned into a beggar
A craver of attention
One with no pride
Or dignity
Look at me
Talk to me
Feel me
Want me
I am all about myself these days. How selfish I am becoming. I am drowning in this shallow pool. Please forgive me this weakness.
I have a draft email typed and ready to be sent to my divine masculine. I am begging him again to pay attention to me. Thank god I haven’t sent it yet. I need to think instead of just feel. It has been 10 days since I last heard from him. All he said was ‘I miss you’. Nothing more.
I don’t want to feel clingy and desperate. Lonely and pathetic.
I am a divine feminine and a sexual goddess.
How does he manage this power over me? He keeps me starving for his affection, yet I stay around bone thin waiting for a crumb thrown my way casually.
His silence is cruel and a mind game.
I recognize it for what it is from past experiences
Triggered again into the pain of abandonment and rejection.
I once wrote a fantasy about being a sex doll or mannequin. That has been one of my fantasies for a very long time.
It is true that some women, and maybe men too, act out this fantasy by being a fuck doll and their body displayed as an art installation piece, to be petted and used like any other sexual object or toy. The idea of doing that made me very wet.
After I posted this fantasy – The Mannequin – I had a comment from one of my followers and friends that suggested that this fantasy was the result of being sexually abused as a child. He may be right. Is my desire to be a submissive and be dominated sexually also because of this? I don’t want to think of it like that. I am including a link to the afore mentioned post for your pursual. I think it is very arousing in a non relationship kind of way.
https://summerhilllaneerotica.com/2019/12/26/the-manikin/
Thank you for listening to my selfish blog post today. If only the sun would shine and I could nude tan on my balcony. I love you all very much and thank you too for giving me a little attention. I am just an attention whore. Smiley face and I am laughing out loud. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane
It’s not selfish, it is an innate human need to be loved/to want attention. You deserve to be adored =)
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you beautiful poet for your comments. My daughter tells me all the time that men should fall at my feet and worship me. So sweet. It would be very welcome to be adored. You also deserve to be adored. Sending lots of love ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your daughter is correct! Right back at you =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cheer up! You always have my attention! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Mr. A. I value your attention. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope you’re okay now dear. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Mr. A., yes I am okay now, just a momentary melt down 😁❤️
LikeLike
Im glad to hear that! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLike
Ask away, Summerhill. I enjoy giving attention. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Gentleman Dave for your comments. Attention given and received a perfect balance and is so lovely. Much love sent to you ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
And to you. 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
You deserve attention and should not have to beg for it. From what you have blogged about your late ex-husband, I’m wondering if your Divine Masculine is not treating you for similarly. You might ask for feedback from people who know you. Or you can delete this comment if it is too sensitive and personal.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for your comments and what you have said is very true. I am attracted to my divine masculine because he feels familiar. I do recognize the red flags. My daughter says the same thing as you are saying. I am working on this. Sending you a lot of love ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love and strength to break the cycle back at you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much. Actually my connection and love for my divine masculine has forced me into a healing crisis. He is doing this by triggering me and also by staying away. ❤️
LikeLike
I have been in this same situation. It’s all a big mind game. Proud of you for seeing it for what it is though!! ❤️❤️❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your comments. I fought hard not to see it as the mind game that it was. Sending lots of love. emoji hearts
LikeLike
I completely agree with mindlovemisery on this one! And I definitely know how it feels to be quite needy too. I wish I was better than that, but I’m really not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Tony for your comments on my begging for attention post. Let’s all join hands down on our knees and beg. Then stand up and say fuck it. Sending you lots of love ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a great idea! I’ll just get a cushion for my creaky knees… 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could use a cushion too, can we share😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
We certainly can! 😁
LikeLike