All systems shut down

the end of the road by Summerhill Lane

All systems down

Dear loved ones, 

Help!  Everything has shut down – I don’t mean everything, the lights still work, we have water and heat, but my internet connection doesn’t work, my phone doesn’t work.  I am cut off from all of you.  WordPress doesn’t work. I can’t see your posts or respond to you in anyway.  My email doesn’t work.  Google doesn’t work. You get the picture. 

  I can still type this as a word document but it will not be published today.  Is this just happening to me?  Am I being targeted?  Now this is crazy thinking.

 No, I am not being targeted, the WIFI is down in this area (my daughter phoned).  Silly me.  I am way too dependent on technology and panic when I cannot connect with my loved ones. 

I have decided to change my attitude and perspective on this twin flame journey that I have been on with my divine masculine.  I am going to be happy no matter if he is in my 3D life or not.  I cannot wait around hoping and praying for him to want me and make his moves. I surrender to the process. I am not running away but I’m not chasing him anymore either. Hopefully my resolve will stick this time.

Opening the door to another relationship that may come my way instead of blocking, or just be happy by myself.  I don’t need anyone else to complete me but I also am very sexual and a partner would be helpful.  Smiley face.

The other day a fellow I had been seeing and we had fucked (please excuse my blunt way of talking) a few times (I wrote one of the Slut Diaries stories about him), sent me a message to come out on my balcony and wave to him.  He had driven over to my apartment just so he could see me.  So very sweet.  I had told him before that I wanted to be only friends, and to find himself another girl friend for sex.  He is not giving up on me it would seem. 

I feel quite healed from being abused in the past and I am not being triggered as much from DM’s silent treatment and neglect. Disappointed for sure, but not sobbing my heart out like I did before.  So, you see I am improving. 

Thank you for reading my little dialogue today and hopefully it can be uploaded.  I love you and miss you when we are not connecting.  Hugs & kisses, Summerhill Lane

Published by summerhilllane

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11 thoughts on “All systems shut down

  1. A few days ago my internet was totally out and it’s bad enough normally but much scarier to contemplate now that the internet is the only social outlet for many people. I freaked out a little myself =)

    It’s hard not knowing if the relationship will manifest in the 3D. You deserve to be happy and to be fulfilled emotionally, sexually, in every way. Today I have been listening to Pagan Poetry by Björk on repeat.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is scary how dependent we all are becoming on the internet especially since we are also isolated from each other physically. Then if even this is taken away- wow I was having a melt down. I was triggered with abandonment issues. Maybe I am not so healed😁.
      I talk about giving up on my divine masculine, but really there can be no one that can replace him. Thank you beautiful poet. ❤️


      1. I know what you mean sometimes I think I am doing quite well in my recovery and then I fall apart but I think that is just the nature of the human experience.

        No one can replace a twinflame and there is nothing on earth or in heaven either to compare it too

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are so right, there is nothing on heaven or earth to compare to this twin flame experience. I tried to explain to my daughter why the rejection from DM was causing me to almost have a breakdown, but she doesn’t understand, and thinks he is just a jerk and I should find someone else.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I don’t even know what to do with myself I am so overwhelmed by it all. I wish you the best on your journey. Whenever I am in the forest communing with nature and sending positive vibes into the world I think of you =) Your daughter is right you absolutely deserve to be happy.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so attached to my phone it is ridiculous. Some days I hide it for awhile but I always panic after if I can’t find it again 😁 thank you for commenting and it is always appreciated. Sending you love ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

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