He didn’t like his painting

beautiful lips by Summerhill Lane

He didn’t like his painting

Dear loved ones, good morning.  Well, actually it is almost noon and bad me, I am still in bed.  Not sleeping of course and I have been up running and taking Gibson out for his morning duties. 

I love my bedroom because it is all my own and I have my own bathroom as well.  Such luxury to have this privacy.  Sorry, but I am going to talk trash about my former husband who is now deceased (3 weeks ago) and I probably shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.

He was very overpowering and everything was about him and for him.  In the last couple of years of our married life I created my own space downstairs in the basement of our home which included a bedroom, studio for painting and a bathroom (just a two piece).   I never got to sleep downstairs except near the end of our relationship when he was threatening to hit me with a baseball bat during the night. 

Anyway, enough of that.

I finished painting one of the sketches that I showed you in the blog post ‘Lips’ and impulsively sent the sketch and finished painting to the owner of those lips.  He was not happy.  He asked me why I was painting him, and wasn’t I in love with someone else who probably wouldn’t like it that I was painting portraits of other men?  (yes, I am in love with someone else and he doesn’t give a shit).

He sent me a link to the song ‘It’s easy to say’, by James Hunter Six. It’s all about a girl saying sorry but the guy not accepting that and just reminding her of all the tears he has cried. Bla bla bla.

He couldn’t accept that I just wanted to send him a copy of this painting of him and nothing else, but he needed to dump on me some more, I guess.  I knew I was going to get it, both barrels, but I received the onslaught hopefully with some grace.  

I have an erotic story playing out in my mind involving Imogen and her beautiful husband.  My divine masculine told me the premise and a few details and asked me to flush it out.  I never did write it, but now might be a good time.    DM has not communicated with me for almost 2 weeks now, and he has not responded to my attempts.  I will not message him again and will leave him alone.  I have learned that actions speak louder than words.  Let there be action!  (of course, there can’t be any of that right now anyway, so I would be happy with a few words. Smiley face.)

Dear loved ones, thank you for listening to me blab.  I really just have my laptop on my knees and my fingers on the keyboard and my mind is elsewhere.  I have to read this now to see what nonsense I have written today.  I love you.  Hugs & kisses, Summerhill Lane

Published by summerhilllane

contact me by email - summerhilllane2@gmail.com

26 thoughts on “He didn’t like his painting

  1. Was it possibly a matter of hurt feelings/wounded ego/jealousy since you mentioned that there is another man in your life? That is what I am getting. I don’t see that as a sign he doesn’t like the painting. I think he does. I think it is more like self-preservation at work.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes you are right. I met this person after I had been with my DM. DM actually encouraged me to see other men at that time.
      This man was really nice and we got along so well but he wanted me to make a comment to him to be exclusive. I told him I was in love with someone else. His ego was hurt.
      Maybe he did like the painting itself but he couldn’t get beyond being hurt. Yes, self-preservation and he actually used those words.

      Like

      1. Was it your DM that wanted an exclusive commitment but you’d already begun this new relationship that DM perhaps misguidedly encouraged? Or was it the new man that wanted a commitment and DM felt threatened?

        Liked by 2 people

      2. My DM at the time didn’t want to be exclusive and actually encouraged me to see other people. It was this man who wanted us to be exclusive but I was already madly in love and connected on a 5D level with DM. It was only a few months ago that DM talked about us being a couple – then he never showed up for me.
        (this sounds like a romance novel 😁).

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It does yes. It’s such an overwhelming and emotional/spiritual/sensual experience it takes time and courage to open up the heart in this way. Healing also takes time but it’s so worth it.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear Dawn, thank you for liking my art and for your comments. He does indeed look a little like Dr. Evil or maybe I viewed him that way. He was trying to capture me and tie me down 😊
      Sending you love ❤️

      Like

  2. Admiring the dedication you put into your site and in depth information you provide. It’s great to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed material. Excellent read! I’ve saved your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

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  3. You are so awesome! I do not believe I’ve truly read through a single thing like that before. So good to find someone with some original thoughts on this subject. Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This site is something that is required on the internet, someone with a little originality!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I like your paintings, you have a very colorful and a little surreal art style (but I don’t really know about art styles that much). For me it was and is making music, while also writing about things. From my experience the more creative and different good things you do, the more you can heal. The more the brain and heart are focused on tasks and experiences you enjoy, the better things get. At least if you are able to do these things. Sometimes dreaming might be enough to survive. People might be able to lock you away, might be able to beat you up and take your physical things away. But “the thoughts are free”, others can only take the good ones away if you let them.

    And I am proud of you – how you write, paint and express yourself.

    You went through a lot, you deserve your peace, love and freedom.

    💖 May the love be with you! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much as well.

        This week I have felt magical powers, have experienced supernatural things in a way.
        It felt like one of the best dreams, while it was real. The only downside, I couldn’t really talk about it with people around me. They just didn’t feel it I guess, couldn’t see it.
        It is as if I am living with people like you through love and thoughts, while my body is just sitting or standing around, as if I wasn’t even there. Feeling invisible, misunderstood and unimportant. Or maybe too important, but carrying the weight of the world. Pointless it seemed and yet I know I am not all alone. Still I think I should stop. Do I really know what I am doing? At least for people like you, I seem to be real, seem to be good. ❤️

        Thank you for your love and hugs!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Dear J. you are very real and I can feel your beautiful energy. I too felt what you are feeling as if living in a dream world. I call it the 5th dimension or 5D. I spent a lot of time there with my divine masculine. It is very hard to explain and just know you are not going crazy. You are vibrating higher than many people around you so they don’t understand you anymore. You need to find those that have your same vibration and that is your soul tribe. I have found a few here on WordPress that I connected with in this way and you are one of them. Sending you lots of love ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you and thank you. 🙂
        And because of my self-therapy I found out about all what I have forgotten over the years.
        That I was able to control the weather, to understand people and that I could do and learn whatever I want.
        When I was 6 months old I said my first word. In my head I knew it all, but the words wouldn’t come out or only some.
        Because of my narcisstic father and all these strange religous people who thought they would have to teach me who God is and what Jesus did, I gave up on it more and more. I just felt the love and life within Jesus, the actual one. But I never really saw this in my area or country. Some people maybe, but most people were just wearing their masks.
        I knew that the churches and cults etc. were either kindergarden or evil.
        I have seen love and freedom in many movies, series, music, stories and all art there is. It was speaking to me, but then I thought, if I would really be the only one who sees this, then I would rather die or forget it all because I didn’t want to be alone with it. And so I did. Only to find it again and die or forget again. Until I almost lost my mind completely, only to realize that I had lost it before and I was actually finding it again. Now that I found it again and that I see all these beautiful people, like you, I know I am not alone anymore. A sense of love comes over me and there is water in my eyes.
        I am not sure about what I will do in the near future, but I know that whenever I was open and free, I put all the things together in one pot and found the common ground within it.
        If you put all kinds of drinks and fluids together, you see water.
        And when I saw believes, I saw possibiliies.
        When I saw dreams, I saw hope.
        When I saw the future, I saw heaven on earth.
        And I knew, that it would be a rainbow because we would be free.
        I felt like the center of it all, saw the good in everything. I found messages were none should have been (according to others). And because I was alone with it, I thought I might be wrong or I just was scared that I could break it all because of the power I felt. Luckily I didn’t. Still I don’t know whether I am doing the right thing. But I try my best. In my head I solved all the problems several times, but now it is time to face it in this reality.

        Man… that just came out. ❤️
        Thanks for the love. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Darling J., that felt like a channeled message from your higher self. You are not mad or crazy, you are in touch with your soul and are remembering who you really are. I too could speak in sentences before I was even 10 months old. I knew things. I knew I could speak other languages too. I had visions and dreams as a child. Same as you. A cult religion beat it out of me (almost). Narcissistic abuse did a number too but it is coming back.
    Stay true to yourself but I have learned not to share too much with those who do not or will not understand. Find those you resonate with. Sending you lots of love ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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