It’s a wonderful life

La Fleur was an earth angel by Summerhill Lane

It’s a wonderful life

Dear loved ones, and you are, very loved.  I started this blog mainly to help myself work through this grand love story (I am laughing because there has been way more crying than loving).  I never really thought anyone would care to read my words.

It’s been almost a year ago today that my daughter set me up on a dating site.  She insisted that I should find someone who would finally treat me with love and bow down and worship me (her words), because I was an earth angel and very beautiful.  Well, I don’t know about that, but I didn’t want to argue with my daughter because she is usually always right about mostly everything. 

My first experience on this dating site was a bit of a shock.  I got scammed (fish-netted).  I was wooed and sang to and listened to.  Turns out he just wanted my money, and he did get some of it before I caught on.  I am very embarrassed now to think how naïve and gullible I was and just ripe for the picking. 

I kind of gave up on finding love, but I started to pursue finding a partner for sex instead.  I had been without for many years and I am naturally a very affectionate and sexual person, it was a very real necessity.  This was much easier.  Smiley face.

During this pursuit for sexual experiences, I met my divine masculine.  Of course, it was just about the sex with him too at the beginning but something hit me hard and rocked my world to its foundation.  He consumed me.  I was him.  I could feel him, I could hear him, I could orgasm without his touch but only his thought.  He possessed me. 

We only saw each other the one-time, but there have always been plans to come together again, but each time something happened and it didn’t work out.  He was usually the one cancelling (lots of people have died in his family, and I am being sarcastic here).  He has always encouraged me to see other men, and I have until fairly recently when he asked me to be only for him.  I have only wanted him anyway, so this wasn’t hard to agree to. 

So, this is where I am at in this love story.  He gives me crumbs in the form of text messages once in awhile, but there have been no real conversations about our life together and I have been heart broken.

I need to just surrender and let go.  Love myself and enjoy the sex when it appears.  It is a wonderful life.

I love you and thank you for reading and listening to me blab on and on as I am wont to do.  Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane

Published by summerhilllane

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25 thoughts on “It’s a wonderful life

  1. Your honesty – and your incredible art!!! – is a beautiful thing to behold… as is your giant angelic heart. You are a lovely soul, and he is clearly “just not that into you” (sorry for those brutal words), more’s the blessing for you. Keep on loving yourself like this… you sure shine, when you do… just like some crazy gorgeous diamond. :)) 💎☀️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. p.s. that was the Pink Floyd reference, of course, not that you are actually crazy!! :)) (not more than the rest of us ‘crazy diamonds’, anyway. ;)) 🤗🌻💕

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry just seeing this now (thanks to a kind person liking my comment) – ❤️❤️❤️ awwww! So heartwarming. I agree, and love you, too, blog-sister. 😊🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We must open doors to know joy and happiness. Dating had never been easy. When I was dating, along time ago. Women or men with walls of fear. Rarely show true face. I believe when we give-up on love. Love find us. Always a pleasure to read your work dear friend. Be careful and be safe.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Peace & Light. Your excerpt is relatable and I, too, have come to the ultimate decision that I will enjoy my situation for what it is and allow things to flow as they naturally will. I hope you eventually experience what you desire. You deserve it. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear Megan, thank you for your expressions. It has been hard to surrender to the process and enjoy what is instead of wanting and pining for someone who doesn’t want me.
      Sending you lots of love ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Life is Beautiful with you in it
    Keep on keeping
    The sexual stuff is so fun and soooo physical
    But having a great mind like yours is the most important

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Deep and emotional. Your creativity and art is always appreciated. About your love experience, enjoy the journey, be present, love yourself more and the same will manifest in your reality.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear Kinge, thank you for your comments and for liking my art. I am enjoying and appreciating the journey and am working on being more present and loving myself more. Just saying those words makes me feel vain. But that’s okay. Sending you lots of love ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I really appreciate your honesty! And I want to add that your happiness is with you always not in another person 🙂 I do hope and pray you are always happy.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you darling Parikhit, I appreciate your comments very much. Yes, I do know that I am responsible for my own happiness. It has taken me some time to figure this out😊
      Sending you lots of love ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I just found a book (from another blog) called If Buddha Dated and so far it’s a great read. Talks a lot about loving yourself and being present/letting go. Such hard lessons sometimes. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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