It’s a wonderful life
Dear loved ones, and you are, very loved. I started this blog mainly to help myself work through this grand love story (I am laughing because there has been way more crying than loving). I never really thought anyone would care to read my words.
It’s been almost a year ago today that my daughter set me up on a dating site. She insisted that I should find someone who would finally treat me with love and bow down and worship me (her words), because I was an earth angel and very beautiful. Well, I don’t know about that, but I didn’t want to argue with my daughter because she is usually always right about mostly everything.
My first experience on this dating site was a bit of a shock. I got scammed (fish-netted). I was wooed and sang to and listened to. Turns out he just wanted my money, and he did get some of it before I caught on. I am very embarrassed now to think how naïve and gullible I was and just ripe for the picking.
I kind of gave up on finding love, but I started to pursue finding a partner for sex instead. I had been without for many years and I am naturally a very affectionate and sexual person, it was a very real necessity. This was much easier. Smiley face.
During this pursuit for sexual experiences, I met my divine masculine. Of course, it was just about the sex with him too at the beginning but something hit me hard and rocked my world to its foundation. He consumed me. I was him. I could feel him, I could hear him, I could orgasm without his touch but only his thought. He possessed me.
We only saw each other the one-time, but there have always been plans to come together again, but each time something happened and it didn’t work out. He was usually the one cancelling (lots of people have died in his family, and I am being sarcastic here). He has always encouraged me to see other men, and I have until fairly recently when he asked me to be only for him. I have only wanted him anyway, so this wasn’t hard to agree to.
So, this is where I am at in this love story. He gives me crumbs in the form of text messages once in awhile, but there have been no real conversations about our life together and I have been heart broken.
I need to just surrender and let go. Love myself and enjoy the sex when it appears. It is a wonderful life.
I love you and thank you for reading and listening to me blab on and on as I am wont to do. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane