Should have learned the first time

Splitting shacks Newfoundland by Summerhill Lane

Should have learned the first time

Dear loved ones,

I really do not have anything much to write about today that is important, and this may come across as just a bit of nonsense or drama.  Some people thrive on drama and chaos, well I am not one of those.  I do like things to be interesting and lively for sure, but when things get too wild and woolly, I make a ‘French exit’.  Smiley face.  Someone used that expression in one of their blog posts and I thought it was cute.  It means leaving without saying goodbye to the host.  The French also say it the other way around and call it an English exit.  Sorry that I do not remember who I am copying this from. 

Mr. Three had contacted me over a month ago now, and he drove to see me and we had a coffee together and a conversation.  This was kind of a big deal for me that he actually made the effort to come and visit me.  When we were seeing each other last year, it was always me finding my way to his place, either by train, bus, and I even rented a car one time. 

He asked me if I wanted to take up with him again and he said it would be different this time and he would make more of an effort to include me in his life and be a partner to me. It all sounded very good, and since I was lonely for some ‘man handling’, I agreed to give it a go.  Well, it is over a month now since that coffee date and we have not seen each other as there always is an issue or a problem.  We have talked on the phone, sent text messages, video chats etc. but no actual coming together.  I am not a priority in his life.  Oh, he wants me to be sure but there is never a good time, so he can’t want me all that much. 

I think he sees me as a sugar momma.  He is already hinting big time for financial help.  This is one of the reasons we broke up last time.  I don’t want to just be a fuck buddy and a blank cheque.  Sorry, this is coming across as harsh, but I should have learned the first time.  I know I come across as a soft touch and I hate saying no when someone I care about needs help.  But also, I do not want to be taken advantage of again. 

See, I told you I had nothing important to say, but this has been on my mind and I can’t get by it until I talk to you.  Thank you for listening.  I love you.  Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane

Published by summerhilllane

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14 thoughts on “Should have learned the first time

  1. It’s not nothing, don’t be to modest. It helps to get it out of your chest plus writing it or saying – allows you to give perspective to the situation. I like that you are thinking of you, by protecting yourself. Sometimes lessons learned are burned bridges..

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “See, I told you I had nothing important to say…” It seems very important to me… a dawning, a realization, a truth, clear-seeing. Like many of us, perhaps you’re sometimes too generous to the wolves, with your caring and sensitive being. You deserve someone just as giving, who will treat you like an an equal, like a queen. 👑✨👑 Leave this one in the past; with your new car fly free. ;)) 💙❤️💛🌌 You can be your own masculine divine, and the feminine also; married with the universe, that makes three. ;))

    Thank you Summerhill, for sharing your lovely soul with us. Your art is very special, and your truths a joy to read. Hope you don’t mind, my bit of comment-poetry. ;)) 🙏👯‍♂️😙😍🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Darling Lia, I love everything you say and you say it so poetically.
      I was out walking today and was thinking of this person and this license plate caught my attention. NEVRSETL
      never settle. Just what you are saying. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗🤗

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you for this super super sweet reply. muah muah muah. 🥰🥰🥰 😘😘😘 That’s true, we should never settle – on the important stuff, that is. Things like honesty, kindness, mutual respect and all the actions that show those things. :))) xoxoxo ❤️❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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