Protection

Novi Zagreb by Summerhill Lane

Protection

Dear loved ones,

It is a rainy day here in Toronto and thank goodness because it has been so blasted humid and hot.  I drove my daughter to work this morning.  It is her first day back since March 15th.  She doesn’t know how much work there is going to be since the place is not fully opened yet. Pretty soon I too will be going back to work.  I could have been working this whole time but my children pressured me to look after myself by staying home. 

It took almost 20 minutes to move ‘Ronnie’ (my blue Honda) out of the parking lot, and that is with the help of my daughter directing me.  OMG, I hate my parking spot.  It is way too tight and impossible to drive into or back out of.  Help!!  I already scratched up the side of the car the first day I had it in that damn parking spot.  Right now, it is parked on the street and I hope to not get a ticket. 

A relationship with Mr. Three is not going anywhere.  It has now been over a month and a half since he asked me to be his girlfriend, woman, partner, let’s start again…. And we cannot seem to arrange a get together.  I know he is very busy and he has children at home most of the time.  I feel like a nag even complaining to him that it has been too long.  I said something last night, that I was heart sick that we are not coming together and what was the point of him asking me to be his partner in the first place.  He has not phoned or messaged me today.  Probably scared to.  Smiley face.

It has occurred to me that the universe is protecting me.  This relationship is not developing because it is not meant to. 

I do not love this man.  I was only needing some man handling.

I like him very much and we are on the same page with regard to politics, religion, world events etc., and we get along well and see eye to eye on most things.  The sex is very nice too.

but he is not my divine masculine. 

No one can take his place in my heart and soul.  I want to move on and find a loving someone but it is not working out that way. 

Thank you for listening to me today talk about men like it is a reality tv show or soap opera.  I am laughing at myself and I don’t mind if you laugh at me or with me too.  As you can plainly see I have a writing block. I can not even channel anything remotely interesting. What happened to all that erotica that used to just bubble out of me?

I love you. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane 

Published by summerhilllane

contact me by email - summerhilllane2@gmail.com

9 thoughts on “Protection

  1. What do you think it will take to free yourself and be able to find love again? Or do you want to? It’s ok to just be. I’m being “manhandled” by a partner currently but so eager to find someone to love. It’s hard for me to be alone but I know I have lots of learning to do on my own. Patience. Ugh lol

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear Violette, I have experienced real heart felt love but once in my life and it was for my divine masculine. I can not even explain how pure and intense and spiritual it was. This is the benchmark. I am okay on my own but would like some attention from time to time. You asked me what I think it would take to free myself to be able to find love again. I think I need to learn self love. I need to stop being triggered with abandonment issues because someone doesn’t show up for me. Thank you darling for asking these questions. I am sending you lots and lots of love.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Totally echoing what you said about abandonment issues. That’s my trigger- when I feel like someone is treating me like a throwaway person. And I know some is the people I was with but it is my issue to get past to find someone good for me. I keep finding the same person, you know? I’m working on it. Hugs and love back to you. ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Given what you have said about Mr. Three I think the universe is trying to protect you. A person can have many good qualities but still ultimately be a toxic presence. Someone who would use you financially and/or sexually/blow you off continuously will only diminish your sense of worth and lower your vibration. Even being with a good man that you can’t fully love will end up breaking your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

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