Mindless Sex is Dead

Late in the afternoon on Front Street by Summerhill Lane

Mindless Sex is Dead

Dear loved ones,

I took a few days off from my blog this past weekend as I needed to think about something that might be worth saying.  Also, I wanted to get back to my great love, painting and drawing.  There was a young couple sitting in the park at a picnic table and they were facing each other and looking into each other’s eyes.  Such a serious look.  Maybe this was a meditation or tantric sex practice.  I was afraid to bother them, but I did anyway and asked if I could take their photograph for a painting.  There was some hesitation and then a none too happy, ‘yes okay’, from her.  She didn’t smile.  I made a sketch with the photo as a reference and I will include it here now.  There is still a matter of painting it, but I have to sit with this drawing for awhile and let it percolate. 

Sketch of couple in meditation in the park by Summerhill Lane

The title of this post is ‘Mindless Sex is Dead’, this reminder is for my reference so I do not just blab away about nothing and to bring myself back to the subject at hand.  The last series of erotica published (Domination) was about mindless sex, in a sense, and I found it hard to write.  There was no love, no caring, no higher purpose, no soulfulness, no longing, no benefit except to get off and to experience something never experienced before like an orgy or a gang bang.  Maybe that is enough of a reason, but just having body parts fitting together (slapping in rhythm) is a mechanical thing.   

As I was thinking about this subject a friend sent me a link to a book by Anais Nin, titled ‘Delta of Venus’.  My friend must be psychic because the very thing I was thinking about Anais Nin wrote about.  I am including here a quote from the book:

“You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are the fuel that ignites it.  Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional.  This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements.  You are shrinking your world of sensations.  You are withering it, starving it draining its blood.”

My attitude about sex has changed in the past several months, partly due to the fact that I am not getting any (ha ha), but mainly because I only really want to experience a sexual coming together with someone I truly love.  Then the mindless part can take over and include others, but the base has to be solid and built on a deep soul bond.  The passion needs to be there, the desire, the lust, the emotion, the heart pounding, the mind totally transfixed and mesmerized.  It can not be just fucking for fucking’s sake. 

Does that make any sense?

As I mentioned on this blog many times, I only started writing erotica to please and stimulate my divine masculine.  It came very naturally and I was a bottomless pit of sensual stories and situations.  I wrote for him.  He was the thread that I weaved and built around. 

Sex always starts in the mind.  Love starts in an open heart. 

Thank you for reading what I have written today.  I know that I am not philosophical and cannot really do justice to this subject but I wanted to give it a go.  I love you. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane xo

Published by summerhilllane

contact me by email - summerhilllane2@gmail.com

41 thoughts on “Mindless Sex is Dead

  1. This is really, really wonderful. I have always felt this in your writing though…it never came across as mindless sex. I don’t know, maybe if someone only reads one post they may miss the larger context of your journey which includes a multitude of sensual, loving layers. I am all in on the mindset you shared here. I write about some kinky stuff (as you know, ha!) but it usually centers around an adventure within a sensual, loving relationship. Wonderful post! 💖

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Dear Michael, thank you for the very thoughtful comment. I appreciate it very much and you for saying it. I love your kinky and loving posts and I always learn something from you. Sending you lots of love and hugs too.


  2. I have experienced similar sentiments when it comes to writing the steamy stuff. It’s almost like if you’re not feeling it, it doesn’t read true on the page (or screen).

    I have more but I’m all out of sorts tonight. Next time.

    Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love that quote and it really resonates with me. I like sex that engages every part of me. I don’t necessarily need to love the person, though that would add more. I think a strong connection is what I need. It makes everything better.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Thanks Dear i write
        ‘Free Verse Nude
        Poetry’ too 6 Volumes
        So Far FULLY iLLusTRaTeD
        For The Meditative
        Tantric Experience
        Of Autotelic Flow
        As It Is An Oldest
        Most Traditional
        Poetic And
        Physical Way
        For Sacred Holy
        Meditation as Even
        Muslim Sufi Poets
        Will attest to lose
        All Time, Distance,
        Space, And Matter
        Truly Achieving
        Divine LoVE iN
        Flow This Way
        NoW iN Union
        All that
        Is (God) With
        No Fear Open
        HeART SPiRiT
        SoUL All that’s
        Left to Do
        With All
        Loving All
        Once The
        Fruits of
        Into Love Above
        Hehe it Would be
        Impossible to
        Explain this to
        ‘The Pope’
        But i am
        Quite Sure
        You Have
        To ‘See’ ‘God’
        This Way Freer too..:)

        Liked by 1 person

    1. If I understand correctly, when Romance dies that is when the sex is just mechanical ? That saying ‘as above so below’ is true but it scares me a little because of its association with the Masonic Lodge.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. SMiLes I look
        Within Now For
        Knowing, Feeling,
        Sensing Truth
        iN Light
        i study
        Other Opinions
        But i Find my
        Own Not Unlike
        Dance or Song
        Sex Will Also Be
        Divine Meditation
        In Flow Agape Love
        In Deed Romantic
        Love Tends to be
        Love is
        All Compersion
        Joy For the Joy
        Others Feel
        The Way
        Of an
        Romance indeed
        Often Turns
        Into more
        Love as
        At core
        It’s about
        Securing A
        Mate and Sure
        Of Genes
        Smiles as
        We Grow
        Older at
        Of owning
        Others For Truly
        Love Never Owns
        Or Demands Worship
        Just another Virtue
        Of God
        Is Love
        That i
        Find impossible
        To explain to Jealousy
        And Ownership
        For what
        Be owned
        Love when
        God Really is
        Only Giving
        My Friend Pleasure
        Is okay and Part
        Of Love when
        Given Shared
        With least
        Harm i visit
        Church each
        Sunday but
        The Buildings
        Including Words
        Of others never
        Free Love
        Within me
        Yes Naked and
        Free of All Human
        Cultural Clothes as
        Even the Gospel
        Of Thomas
        In Verse 37..:)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I have been coming to the same realizations about love as I have been on this journey. This is a better kind of love I feel for my divine masculine as there is no jealousy involved only caring about the other person and what is best for their life and soul.
        Thank you for sharing this with me. Sending love.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. SMiLes You are Welcome
        About Above So Below
        The Nautilus
        Creates A Shell
        That Mirrors the
        PHI Golden Spiral
        Of The Milky Way
        Same As A Sunflower
        And Below Subatomic
        Particles in Spiraling
        Flow indeed Breath
        Of Poetry
        On A Page
        In Free Dance
        And Song in
        How Beautiful
        It is to exist Water
        Waves Ocean Whole
        in AToneMenT
        YeS In UniSoN
        This Way
        As God
        Whole in
        All that is Us
        The Masonic Lodge
        Repeats A Same Phrase
        As Above So Below that
        Indeed Is Also
        Found originally
        From the Gospel
        Of Thomas
        In the
        Dead Sea
        Scrolls before
        Anyone had
        The opportunity
        To edit it but of
        Course anyone with
        Eyes and Ears to See
        Will Find this Golden
        Spiral PHI Pattern
        In Flow
        In All
        We aRe aLL
        Part of A Naked
        Free Work of Art
        God That We Only Hide
        With Cultural Clothes
        And Other Tools
        We Make
        That We
        Away From
        Naked Breath
        N A T U R E NoW
        Of God Born
        Breathing Free
        Yes Below as Above
        Within inside outside
        And All Around Love..:)

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Very good, Summerhill. I’ve never had mindless sex (at least not with a partner, lol). Never had a one-night-stand, or even a one, two or three-month stand. Sex, for me, has always required an emotional investment. The more that I invested, the better the sex and all the aspects of the relationship were. 

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Manfred for your comments on this post. I don’t think mindless sex will be a thing of the past, but maybe with the way our world is unfolding it may induce to put some thought into where and with whom you expend your valuable energy. You have been on the right track all along. Sending you lots of love ❤️


  5. This is brilliant… wonderful.. all of it… but also your art again, it’s an amazing drawing, and took guts to ask that couple and I love that you did that and made this from it, it’s truly amazing. You are doing great things. Amazing to see you butterfly like this… but anyone could expect it… you’re truly divine. ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Delta of Venus is an outstanding book. I believe she wrote it for one dollar a page but her ability to hone in on the small sometimes subtle moments that create erotica and make sex rise from a biological act to a psychological playground.

    Liked by 1 person

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