He hurt me so I could love him unconditionally

He hurt me so I could love him unconditionally

Dear loved ones,

I have been rather bummed out the past few days and not feeling well and over heated too because it has been so hot here.  Also, I had the responsibility for three young teenagers who were bored and hot too.  Now that is a challenge I wasn’t up for.  Smiley face.

My friend, “Mr. Perfect”, has continued to message me and we are making arrangements to meet to go for a nature walk in a few days.  I am starting to feel like a slut again and a cock tease.  I told him we could only be friends and there would be no romance, but he is really trying so hard to make me care for him.  Can a man and a woman truly be just friends?  I think they can if they are both on the same wave length and have love connections with other people.  I wish I didn’t meet him now because at some point he is going to be hurt when I stop the conversation. 

Mr. ‘he didn’t like his portrait’, sent me a text message in the middle of the night just saying that he thinks of me often and hopes that I am happy and have found what I want.  He says, “I really, really want you to find it so I can just know you were nothing that was good for me.  You did take my breath away…. pity!”. 

See, I hurt him too. 

Sorry, I am just going to be talking about men here on this page for a few minutes.  You would think I have them falling out of the trees.  Ha ha.  Well maybe a few. 

Mr. Three also messaged me late last night too. (what was going on last night that was getting men so horned up?)  He wanted to make some arrangements with me to get together.  I am not getting excited by this because I take everything he says with a grain of salt.  

In the title at the beginning I am referring to my divine masculine.  I was hurt it is true.  He didn’t hurt me though, I hurt myself by having too may expectations.  These were the lessons I needed to learn and he taught me.  Love myself, respect myself, take care of myself.  I do not need someone else to fulfil me and make me whole.  I love him unconditionally and always will, whether I see him again or not.  He is my twin and we are never apart really anyway.  This may sound like pie in the sky gobble goop, but it feels real and true. 

Thank you for being with me today as I self reflect about love and sex and friendship.  Now I am heading to work where all these trivial things will be replaced by hard physical labour (not that terrible except for the standing on cement floors for 8 hours at a stretch), being helpful and caring of others, and a hero of sorts.  Smiley face.  I love you.  Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane