Dear loved ones,
Today is Sunday and it is afternoon now and as you may guess I am still in bed. I have been delaying getting up. Not because I am naturally lazy (sometimes I am), but because I go to work soon and it is a long shift standing in one spot more or less, which is very hard on the legs. I really love my job. I love people.
This weekend was very difficult for me and my emotions were at an all time low. Of course, it was because of a man (and I know you knew that). I have not forgotten about my divine masculine and he is still with me every day on an energetic level, but he is not present in my life. We do not have a life together in the here and now. Maybe we will at some point and maybe we won’t.
So, I had decided to make a connection with someone else who I was attracted to and who matched me at least intellectually. We had been sexually active in the past but he was just wanting a fuck friend at that time and I guess that was all I was wanting too. I am talking about Mr. Three, and you may recall him from some of my previous posts. I thought we were together and I was his woman and he was my man, or at least that is what he has been saying to me. He has phoned me and facetimed with me almost every day and it has been very reassuring of his commitment that this actually was a bonified relationship. We had seen each other twice for a coffee date since last May, when he asked me to get back together with him. That is 4 months of communication and no action. This past Friday was the day we had arranged an actual get together. He facetimed me in the morning that day and said he had a few things to do and then he would message me again to arrange a time. I waited all day, and nothing from him. I turned down plans with friends because I was waiting for him. I sent him a message asking what was wrong and why I hadn’t heard from him. Still nothing.
It has been a few days and still I haven’t heard a thing. Someone must have died. This has happened before though, and it is not the first time he has made plans with me and disappeared from the scene only to say things came up and he was busy with this, that and the other thing. He does say sorry and I should be happy with that.
I am done.
It is obvious that he cares not for me.
I am not a priority.
There is no relationship here.
I have been reluctant to learn my lessons. Divine masculine has taught me to love myself first and not to love him more than myself. I must not even put up with his shitty behaviour either.
Our connection is beautifully painful.
I think the painting at the beginning is finished. I have it hanging on my bedroom wall along with all the rest I have done lately. The man looks like he is white with cold and the woman is warm and she is trying to heat him up with her love. At least that is what I see as I look at it. Tell me what you see.
Thank you for listening to me today. It really means a lot to know that you are there and we have a link and a heart connection. I love you. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane xoxo