Acute One

Summer blooms by Summerhill Lane
Wild flowers at Niobe Lake by Summerhill Lane
In full bloom by Summerhill Lane

Acute One

Dear loved ones,

I went for a little ride on Saturday and it was a bit bumpy and not much fun.  Embarrassing really too.  An ambulance came and collected me from my home residence and strapped me in and whisked me off.  All this action on the sidewalk in front of the local ice cream stand was just too interesting a thing for the group standing around licking on their cones.   I would have been watching and enjoying the show too if I was not the one wrapped up.  It is funny to think about it. 

The emergency response team, two men with names that begin with J (Justin and Jordan) were very nice and friendly.  Awesome people.  So caring and kind and respectful too.  I liked them and they liked me. 

When we got to the hospital Justin made a joke and announced that they were taking a cute one into Acute Room One. 

Then they thanked me for making their day.  Why are they thanking me?  I am the one in their debt and they are the heroes all day long. 

I am home now and it is a few days later, so you know I am still alive.  I did think I was done for though and I was sending out love messages from my heart to those that I loved and who loved me in case I didn’t get the chance to actually say these words out loud to them in person. I was thinking of you on WordPress too and sending you love by your blogging name.  I hope you heard me. 

Such drama. 

There are two men.  Of course, you knew I would eventually start talking about men.  Ha ha.  Actually, there are three.  My divine masculine is never far from my thoughts and I will never not love him since he is my twin.  I really do not like to use these terms, twin flame, soulmates, sacred union etc.  Maybe, he just appeared in my life to push me and trouble me, and bring up all the crap I have been holding on to so it can be released and healed.  I was holding onto lots of crap and that is certain.

Childhood sexual abuse and torture

Religious cult entrapment

Abandonment by family

Narcissistic abuse

You probably didn’t need to know all that garbage as I have worked through it and I feel so balanced and whole and I love life and I love my family and I love the men in my life.  Getting back to these men.

Mr. Perfect is just about perfect in every way and he is pursuing me and paying attention to me and wanting a relationship with me.  I find it is getting to be too much (imagine that), and have had to push him back a few paces to give me some breathing room.  I am not used to this devotion.  Mr., He Didn’t Like His Portrait, came on too fast and too strong and I ended up pushing him completely back and out of my life.

 Maybe I have liked unavailable men for this reason.  I don’t like feeling smothered.

Mr. Three is the other one I want to mention.  He has been unavailable and is not pursuing me or being pushy.  But he says he loves me and that we will get together when the time is right.  I have left him in the background of my mind and heart. 

Really, I am just blabbing here as per usual.  Thank you for reading this post and being with me on this page.  I love you very much.  Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane

I have included a few of my paintings of flowers at the beginning so you know I paint other things beside portraits of men.  Smiley face. 

Published by summerhilllane

contact me by email - summerhilllane2@gmail.com

32 thoughts on “Acute One

  1. “Maybe I have liked unavailable men for this reason. I don’t like feeling smothered.” Love that line. Classic artist move, maybe. Allows returning to the well time and time again. 💖

    Liked by 3 people

  2. p.s. Going to be dead honest tho’: Your portrait paintings are the best, imho. Regardless of whether they look like their subjects, art is subjective, and they are so good because they are like a starkly brutiful diary of your soul reflecting on the feelings brought on by interaction with and study of another. Rock on, sister.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love your flower paintings!
    I can relate to the ambulance ride being strange and bumpy. My last ride was late Feb. The EMTs were so nice though, and were great with making jokes.
    Hope all is well with you, now. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my goodness I am so glad you are doing better, on the health front at least and what’s most important.
    And as far as these men, perhaps they are not the right one yet. Mmmh I get about the timing from number 3 I think, but still….True love throws all timing to the wind and is something you have no control over. So I guess I question that statement from him too.
    Btw. Your paintings are lovely ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Darling Rhapsody, thank you for your comments on my post and for liking my paintings as well. I have questioned Mr. Three too. He tells me he loves me. He tells me I am his woman and he wants no one else. He tells me I am everything – a perfect package. Yet, the time is not right? There is something wrong here. All I can say is whatever. (and I am laughing at it all). Sending you lots of love and many hugs my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gorgeous, what is your gut telling you? Your instincts and intuition is usually something you can trust. It’s no secret to what a woman likes to hear and he seems to be saying all the right things, but in the end it’s also actions that speak louder than words. You are smart and you are on to the games. You don’t need them and it’s good you can laugh about it, although I’m sure you wished his actions would show you the sincerity in his compliments. Has he ever talked about the timing and why it’s not the right time now? You are not some project to be saved for later. Real love happens, you can plan for it and push it to the side for later. You deserve more. I know you are aware, and as long as you are, be good to yourself and always remember this.
        Much love to you ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Darling Rhapsody, I appreciate all you are saying about actions speak louder than words. This is a fundamental truth. I know this but it can be easy to fool myself into believing differently. My gut tells me that if this man truly loves me he wouldn’t let anything stop him from being with me. I wrote a poem about this once “I’m not on the lay away plan”. So I have to assume that it is only talk and means nothing.
        Love you very much ❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I know love and sometimes the knowledge we possess lies helpless and inaccessible. I have experienced it many times myself as I usually follow my heart and not so much the mind that might hold such a knowledge. But I also believe that what’s meant to be can’t be stopped and will unfold in its own time. It will always find a way if we learn to go with the flow, sit back and let it happen. And if it’s not moving forward, it’s because the universe has better things in store for you.
        Love you lots and all wi be well. I have a feeling. ❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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