Lying to Myself

Walking on her own by Summerhill Lane
Breathing in the waves by Summerhill Lane
Stand alone and be strong by Summerhill Lane

Lying to Myself

 There are five men

In my mind

One in my heart

One in my bed

One in the vicinity

One in the distance

One on the horizon

Need to clear and clean my space

Wipe it down

Throw some out

Can’t keep it up anymore

Must stop lying to myself

That I am not juggling

Keeping them in play

I have tried to let them all go

Really tried

I want to be alone

But I am lying to myself

That I am pure and innocent

Just a sweet little thing


A divine feminine

I attract and don’t release

Forever caught

They will never be the same

I am lying to myself that

I want to be alone

Published by summerhilllane

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20 thoughts on “Lying to Myself

    1. Dear Jenna, it is so nice to hear from you. Of course I do not want to be alone, also do not want to be torn in 5 different directions. Finding a balance is the solution. If only the one in my heart would make a case for himself. ha ha. Sending you lots of love and hugs too.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Yes, we don’t want to be alone.
    I also told myself this lie over and over again until I believed it.
    But only to make sense of my despair, of the misery in the world and the lack of love.

    *Sending you lots of love and hugs and kisses*

    I am not like this, at least haven’t been in a while. Only sometimes.
    In the open wide I mean… I am too scared of people and the way they could react or the way I could seem. So I just act like a robot. Or like a puppet or like as if I am a freak. And I feel like each of these things. Not now, not when I am making my posts. But still, still I am scared. I am scared because so far it always has been this way. That people didn’t understand me, at least people I could meet.

    Thank you for your honesty, my majesty. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John, you are just the best. Thank you for saying ‘my majesty’. Sending you many hugs and lots of love. I enjoy your posts very much although sometimes (or many times) I do not understand the full significance of what you write.

      Liked by 1 person

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