Selfies

*Portrait in acrylic by Summerhill Lane

Selfies

Dear loved ones,

Hello from sunny and cool Toronto.  Today is a beautiful day and I just got back from a walk to the park with Gibson and I was listening to my Spotify playlist as I danced/walked down the street.  Sometimes I walk like I am a runway model and it makes me very happy to walk this way.  Of course, I have never been a runway model as I was considered too short at 5’5”.  I think I had all the other necessary attributes but it doesn’t really matter.  That is a whole world away now.

Today I took a few selfies in the bathroom.  Sorry.  The bathroom mirror seems to be the best location with enough light and there is the right amount of privacy since the door can be locked.  I added one of these pictures to my about page.  If you are interested in what I look like as of today (Dec. 2, 2020) go and have a look.  I am aging for sure because no one can stop the hands of time from molding our features to suit the numbers.  Oh well. 

Toronto is in the second wave of lock down (or shut down), and all restaurants and bars, hair and nail salons, barber shops, gyms and fitness places, tanning spots, clothing shops, everything is closed except for drug stores, grocery stores and other essential places, like bakeries.  We have a bakery on one side of our apartment building and a market on the other side, as well as a coffee shop/market, drug store, two dry cleaners, a veterinary clinic and a few other essential businesses.  Our street has never been busier.  The parking spots are at a premium and I have gotten quite a few tickets for parking on the street longer than the allotted hour.    I do have my own parking spot behind our building but I still hate parking there in such a tight space.  It stresses me out. 

My daughter is laid off her job again, and my grandson is doing online learning for school, but I am still considered an essential person at my place of employment but no one is calling us heroes anymore.  The gloss has worn thin. 

As you can see today, I am just talking and rambling on about nothing important.  I wanted to bear my soul and tell you how I have really been feeling but I will leave it go.  Maybe a poem will write itself in my sleep or some erotica will appear on this page as if by magic.  I hope you like the painting at the beginning.  It is an older one as I have not painted anything new.  Neither have I tried to draw what or who I see behind my closed eyelids.

Does anyone know if it is possible to break a twin flame contract?  I have surrendered to the thought that I am all good on my own, and I am, but the tears flow almost every night and the loss is still so painful.

 Am I mad? 

What am I supposed to learn from this? 

These are rhetorical questions, obviously, but you may answer them if you care to.  Smiley face. 

Thank you for being here with me on this page all 500 of you.  Yes, I just looked and I have 506 loved ones who follow this blog.  I am so excited by this and I thank you sincerely and I love you.  Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane xoxo

*the portrait at the beginning is of a friend of mine. I sent him a canvas print of this painting and he received it today in the mail. He was very happy to have it and I was very happy to give it.

Published by summerhilllane

contact me by email - summerhilllane2@gmail.com

20 thoughts on “Selfies

  1. Love the Pic and the smile on your About page – yes i snuck a peep. Not long ago a grocery store asked my mom if i was her husband. She is 80 and I’m 61 so go figure! 😲🤓🤔💐🐙

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Your welcome Summer! Back when i was sixteen i was with my mother who was visiting some friends. When one of the guys there came up and asked me if my mom was my wife. 😲🤓🤔💐

        Liked by 1 person

      2. At the time my mother was 35 and like her mother looked much younger then she actually was. I was also wearing a 3 piece suit. When i was 20 i couldn’t even buy a Play Boy magazine without getting carded. I’ve also been mistaken as my son’s brother – he is an only child – and my daughter in law was once asked by one of her coworkers if i was her husband. 🤤🤣🤔

        Liked by 1 person

  2. First of all, you are gorgeous. ❤️
    Second we are approximately the same height. I’m about a 1/4 of an inch below 5’5″. 🙂
    Third: you have lovely legs!

    I’m a little tired of this shutdown. They (ON gov’t) released a contact tracing list and the percentages of transmission leading to death in most of our unique businesses in the community is less than 1%. It is maddening that so many livelihoods will be lost in a few months…

    Lovely to read you again. My advice is, this is your blog. If you feel inspired by writing about your TF you go ahead and do that. It helps to process things, at least for me it does. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Darling Writer of Words, I am blushing by your complements. I thank you so much for saying. Yes, I know this shut down is having a very heavy impact on people’s lives and their state of mind. We will face a much different world when all things shift themselves and balance out.
      I appreciate your advice about writing about what I feel inspired to write about. My TF is at the top of my list and he is the main and only reason I started this blog in the first place. I need to let this connection play out and hopefully others will be interested in following along with me in the process.
      I love you my dear friend. Many hugs.

      Like

  3. SMiles A Free Spirit Never
    Really Ages And Will Be
    Best Measured in a Smile
    That Lasts For Life Feeling
    And Sensing All oF it We Can And Will…
    Remembering
    Walking on the
    Beach At 16
    Thinking
    Picturing
    Easily My
    Father on His
    Lazy Boy Chair
    At Age 44 Rather
    Over Weight And Lethargic
    Snoring Tween Laps of Never
    Ending Nascar Racing Around And
    Around the Same Lap This Is What

    i saw Then As Getting

    Old And Yes too When

    i Reached About that Age

    In Better Shape Yet i went Decades

    Without Going Back to the Beach And

    Leisure Restricted to A Mindless Video Game

    i Played over and over with Whatever Is Playing

    On the TV As Back Ground Noise Without Even A

    Word Really Left to Say to my Wife Just Exhausted

    From the Day’s Work As the Weekend Wash and Dry

    Cycle of Stuff Not Completed Around the Home on

    The Weekdays then… Fast Forward to Now

    i am Much Stronger, Healthier, Happier

    Than i could imagine at 16 Now

    At 60 Difference Being

    i have rid my Life

    Of All Anxiety

    Yet i Still Feel

    Sense More Colors of

    Life as i Live Life for ALL the

    Colors.. i haven’t Written Any

    Erotic Stories in my 6 Volume Novel

    Lately Reaching over 114,000 Words

    As Really the Rest of Life Feels Even

    More ‘Colorful’ Than That but i still

    Do Nude Art with PG Stars

    Just for the Wild to

    Continue

    Breathing

    Free and Never

    Ever Fear anything in Life again

    For if A Dude Will wear only Stars

    Make that one Star on Facebook

    What is there to Fear in life of

    Course that And Public

    Dancing 14,088

    Miles Still in

    Stores

    Masked Now

    in 87 Months

    i Didn’t start getting

    Younger until Age 53

    Before that i felt like about

    1001 if there is an Age in Hell on Earth

    This Other Age Well Below Sweet Sixteen

    Regulating Emotions Integrating Senses

    Navigator Pilot Together This Ship Sails at Ease

    Life is for Evolving Always Evolving Even More with SMiLes..

    This is what Getting Older Feels Like to me Pictured Below

    Dancing With 3 Generations And Even 4 If Covid-19

    Goes Away Enough For the Dance Hall to

    Safely Reopen until then there is Masked

    Dance And 298 Or so Memories

    In Joyful Events Just

    Like this Happily

    Married i never

    Asked a Woman

    To Dance All i did is

    Enjoy myself And they

    Joined my Party With SMiLes..:)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hehe Laughing
        The Joy With
        Me Beautiful
        HAha
        Even
        At
        Me
        As People
        Who Laugh
        At Other
        Folks
        Come
        From A
        Frown
        Now An
        Empty
        Place
        Of Not
        Enough
        The Way
        i See it
        At
        Least
        i MADE
        THEM
        CHANGE
        The Frown
        On Their
        Face
        To
        At
        Least
        A Smirk
        Everyone
        Has To Start
        Somewhere on
        A Bottom Floor of
        A Love Pyramid to
        Call
        Capstone
        Love Home Free
        To Give And Share
        More With SMiLes🙌☺️

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the video, and you look so happy dancing and so does everyone else – look happy. I am better for having met you and I appreciate what you have been through and how you thrive now. It is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your poetry and enthusiasm for love and life.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I saw your Instagram selfie so beautiful and full of life. I don’t think you can break it, because of quantum entanglement. I think there is a meditation you can do where you tell them that you are choosing not to connect with them in this lifetime. You can change your mind at anytime. I don’t think it will hurt less though because you are running away from yourself, there is a part of you that needs love and acceptance. I think you can sever other contracts but not the TF one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear beautiful poet, thank you for answering my question about breaking a twin flame contract. I don’t want to cut the ties that bind with DM, but the pain of missing him gets too much sometime. I will have to meditate on why I am running away from myself.
      Thank you again darling for reading and commenting and also for being you. You are such a beautiful and loving person.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Galllll I loved to see your beautiful face… I am a bit shorter than you by the way so now I know why you call me little sister 😉😉😆😆🤓😚👯‍♂️

    Um hello I also saw that you have an ART page!!!! With prints for sale!!!! (I can’t “like” pages from the front-end due to some glitch with my brower and WP, or I would have.) Think you should drop that link at the bottom of each post imho… :)))) You rock and are so inspiring.

    So… twin flame thing, honestly I know not much about others’ theories on it, but I do believe that detached love for all beings is more wholesome, so I like the buddhisty version of true-love… though I’m a regularly failing practicant lol… and I do believe that you are to some large extent in charge of your own destiny… in a life mate, I would not be putting up with the kind of behaviour you’ve talked about your guy exhibiting… personally… but to each our own, and we are each on our own journey… I love your little blue car painting so much btw… 👌 freedom. :)) You are your own blue. 💙 And other colours too. 💚❤️🌷

    I LOVE your update posts, they are my favourite really, I only wish you wouldn’t put yourself down for writing them… but I get that’s part of writing your truth and current elements of your personality, so I love that too… basically you are one amazing human being and we’re lucky to read you… so keep rockin’ it gal!!! 🎸🤟💛🎶🎨 you have so much talent.

    Thanks for sharing your art and your life. Sending lots of love 💛xoxoxoxo

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: