Calling in a soulmate?
Dear loved ones,
Hello and happy Friday. I guess Friday still carries some vestiges of fun times, parties, sleeping in times, freedom from responsibilities at least for a few days. For me Friday doesn’t mean much. Just another day of the week. I have made myself sad at this thought.
Normally when I put my fingers on the keyboard they just type and I let come out whatever wants to come out.
I want to tell you about someone, who I have talked about before. I call him Mr. Perfect for a good reason. I cannot find any flaws, and I have been looking. It is hard for me to write much about him here because I don’t want DM to read my words. He must know that I couldn’t wait for him forever, even though I said that I would. He must know that I need love and attention and I couldn’t always be the one chasing. Always the one telling him how much I loved him. I do love him unconditionally, but I need someone to love me too. DM has taken too long and maybe he never had any intention of having a life with me. Completing a mission with me. Healing with me. Having an adventure with me. No intention at all.
It is almost been a year since the big fiasco happened. I was so excited to finally see DM and spend a pornographic night with him (his words). The hotel was booked and I was on my way when I got the message that he couldn’t make it, a death in the family. Undisputable, not confirmable, an out for him with a very good reason. Why am I talking about this again? Why am I still hurt and disappointed? He must have his reasons for not keeping his promises and the arrangements he made with me. Reasons that he failed to share. I ended up looking like a fool, wanting someone who didn’t want me.
But I don’t care about looking foolish as I was just being who I was, a woman in love with a man. A divine feminine enthralled with her divine masculine.
Mr. Perfect is coming over tonight for a visit. He has worked all day and is sure to be tired, but that will not stop him from seeing me. I like that very much that he puts in so much effort to spend time with me. He has words followed up by actions. I do not need to chase him and that is a relief because I will not be chasing anyone ever again. At least that is a promise I have made to myself.
We plan to go skating soon but I only have my grandson’s old hockey skates to use that sort of fit me. My figure skates are long gone, lost in a move. I am making jokes about using a walker that two-year old’s use when learning to skate, to help me adjust from figure skates to hockey skates. It should be fun and I am sure to look very funny. I will let you know if I end up needing a walker after the fact. Hope not.
Thank you for reading these excerpts from my private diary. I love you. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane xoxo
P.S. the paintings at the beginning are a few watercolours and one acrylic done previously. I have not painted anything lately. Also, I haven’t been able to write erotica. I need my muse, my dream lover, my twin.