Dear loved ones,
I have been working the past few days and now my legs are killing me from long hours of standing basically in one spot. But I like my job very much. I love my customers and my customers love me. It is a veritable love fest. The men call me sweetheart and honey and the women call me angel and darling. What a lovely atmosphere and it would seem that the outside world of stress and trouble does not exist.
Someone has been on my mind. Someone is in my heart. Someone I am missing very much. Someone I long for. Someone I see when my eyes are closed. Someone I dream about. Someone I want to talk to. Someone I want to meet again. If he feels one tenth of what I feel, then why does he stay away? He must have his reasons and I respect that. I feel this bond, this strange love no matter what happens, if anything.
The above paragraph just appeared out of the blue as my fingers rested on the keyboard. I am channeling. This is something new that has started this past year, the ability to channel. Poems fully fleshed from dreams. Drawing what I see behind my closed eyes. Things like this. The yearning is the strongest sensation lately. It is almost unbearable. Yet I resist the tug to beseech and beg. I am no scrounger for love.
I need to change the subject because this longing is coming over me again and I don’t want to break down here in front of you. Besides, many of you will again remind me not to chase after someone who doesn’t want me. I understand the logic of this. It is very sound advice. Yet, this supernatural yearning remains. It supersedes logic.
In an effort to really change the subject, let me tell you about an embarrassing experience. This happened some years ago when I was married to my first husband. Every Friday night, we (our family of five) would go swimming and use the hot tub and sauna at a local recreational center, and this one particular Friday I was in the sauna by myself. A man entered the sauna and sat right beside me with his thigh touching mine. I assumed it was my husband who joined me, as who else would it be that would sit so close when there were plenty of other spots to sit. I did not bother to confirm this though. So, I put my hand on his thigh and started running my fingers up and down his leg getting very close to his private parts. I was petting him and massaging. We were alone in the sauna. The door opened and I looked up. My husband came into the room. My hand still was on his leg when I finally looked at my companion. “I am so sorry, I thought you were my husband”, I said. “That is alright, I was enjoying myself”, was his response. My husband didn’t get angry at me or him but only laughed. I always wondered why he wasn’t more upset because the man whose leg I was fondling was drop dead gorgeous.
Something similar happened to my daughter about a month ago in a grocery store. I saw her go up to a man (a stranger) put her arm through his, kiss his neck and whisper in his ear. I was standing with my daughter’s partner and we were both looking and wondering what was going on. Turns out she didn’t really look and just assumed it was her boyfriend. Like mother like daughter? We all had a good laugh about it, even her boyfriend.
I should go have an Epson salts bath as my legs are throbbing. Oh yes, forgot, we are all out of bath salts. The hot water may help anyway. Thank you for reading this little bit of nothing much. I didn’t want to let too much time go by without saying hello. I think of you. I love you. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane xoxo