Make It Wit Chu
Dear loved ones,
Hello. I have missed being here on this platform. I have missed reading what you have written. I have missed talking to you too. Obviously, I haven’t gone anywhere physical as there is no traveling allowed right now. Just to work and back and out for groceries and to walk the dog.
Yesterday, I was given a letter to present to authorities if ever I am stopped and questioned for being out and about. Emergency Measures Covid-19, Letter Confirming Essential Service Worker Status. I am to carry this letter with me at all times. This piece of paper has just freaked me out. Are we living in a police state now? “Present your papers or you will be detained!”. A very slippery slope to history repeating itself.
People are complaining about the sale of beer being cut off at 8pm. Our store is open until 10pm but customers can’t buy beer or wine after 8. Many have piled their groceries and beer at my counter and then when I tell them I cannot sell them the beer they freak out and just walk out and leave everything behind. I sort of understand their feelings, they were counting on having a few drinks just to unwind at the end of the day.
You might wonder what the title “Make it wit chu” has to do with selling beer, and I can tell you it has nothing to do with it. This is just a song I like by Queens of the Stone Age, and it also reminds me that our language is changing because of google. Say something into your phone and your message will come out all misspelled and look like gobble goop. It is quite funny though.
Please forgive my rambling today.
I have been feeling like a fake and a flake because I am attached to divine masculine and think of him continually, and yet I have started a relationship with Mr. Perfect. I am being pulled in two directions now and feeling disloyal to both. Why did I think I could handle this? I should have stayed celibate and single. (I am still single). Impossible, and I am laughing because I know myself and being celibate is not an option. I spent ten years as a nun already in an unloving marriage. Been there, done that. I also know that if I were in a sexual relationship with divine masculine, I would not be disloyal and no one would tempt me because our connection is not just physical, it is stronger than that. It is spiritual. It is soul to soul.
But, after saying the above, I am happy. I am healthy. I love life. I love sex. Ha. Ha. I am also awake to this world situation which is a bit scary. I know that not too many people know what is really going on with this pandemic and I really don’t want to talk about it here. Mr. Three had some idea and we were on the same page in that regard, but we were not connected in a truly spiritual way. My soul is tied to Divine Masculine but I don’t think he is awake yet to this connection or the world situation. Now I am sounding like a weirdo. Maybe it matters not a bit what is going on with this world, but all that is important is being a better person than we were before, and being loving and kind and generous and thoughtful and sincere, truthful and honest. Loving unconditionally, which is very hard to do. I am trying hard to love without expectation. This is not the same as being with a narcissist who expected all and gave nothing.
Finally, I am taking care of myself and standing up for myself and not just being the ‘dust at his feet’.
I have included a few sketches taken from my sketch book. I don’t think I turned any of them into paintings, but they are nice as they are. I hope you like looking at them too. Thank you for reading and being with me here, it really makes my day when I think about you. I love you. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane xoxo