Getting things off my chest
Dear loved ones, (I really hope you do not mind me referring to you this way),
This is just me talking to you. Lots of thoughts have gone through my mind about what has been happening in the world with the virus and the lockdowns and shutdowns and the masks and the social isolation and six feet apart rules and spray everything to sanitize. At work we are asked to spray with these chemicals all over our work space after every customer. I am actually glad I am wearing a mask because the spraying is toxic and I hate to be breathing it in. I am sure we are all breathing it in anyway. So, we are trying to stop the spread of a virus that has a 99% (not the exact figure) survival rate, but poisoning ourselves in the meantime while sucking in our own carbon dioxide and chemical sprays. Totally nuts. The insane is now sane. Ministry of love is really the Ministry of torture as in the book 1984 by George Orwell. Everything is double think.
Last night as I was laying awake around 3am, it felt like I was being downloaded with information about the 4th dimension and all those entities up there who are kind of running the show down here in the 3D. There is a whole mess of them feeding off us and using us and tricking us. They have their willing minions (the 1%) as well as many others in the general population. There are also those pretending to be the good guys and of the light, but they are not. No, I was not having a bad trip as I haven’t taken any drugs or hallucinogens. The one time I tried an edible (a gummy bear), I thought I was going to die in the night, so never again.
So, I was thinking about my twin flame and wondering why I was being drawn so strongly towards him, and why I cannot stop obsessing about him. I am addicted to the sexual high I feel coming from him. It is out of this world and intoxicating. It is also extremely painful as the rejection from him set in. It shouldn’t hurt this much because I don’t even know him that well. We only saw each other that one time and every other arrangement we made to get together was called off or cancelled by him. This whole thing doesn’t make any rational sense. I am not starving for attention like he is the only man in the world. Would I even want him in my life now? He hasn’t shown himself open and communicative. I need clarity from him but he says nothing. I wish he would just say he is not interested, or he has someone else and is happy. Tell me the god damn truth! Now I am angry. Mostly angry at myself for being so in love with a phantom.
The great big sign that I talked about in my previous post, has thrown me for a loop. Who is giving me this sign and why? Why should I be attached to someone who is not interested in being with me? Is this all a trick by the master deceivers in the 4th realm?
Well, if you think I have lost my marbles I wouldn’t blame you. I know I am level headed and balanced emotionally for the first time in a long time. It is so nice to just talk to you, so thank you for listening. I love you and I am not just saying that. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane xoxo