Dear loved ones,
I have been running away from my blog lately. I know that sounds silly to actually physically run away from my own writing (okay I am not physically running anywhere), just avoiding and putting off. It is true that I have been working more shifts at the grocery store, but I still have plenty of time to write if I wanted to. What the problem is I am afraid of what I am going to say. So, instead I place my fingers on the keyboard and let them have their way.
I have had six sexual relationships in the past two years (not all at once) ha ha. This is really out of balance with the previous forty years in which I had two and both of them were my husbands. Others say that when you form a sexual connection with someone you form a soul bond with them. There are actual cords that connect you. It doesn’t matter that you are no longer together, the cords are still there. So, I was thinking about this and visualizing my body and a mess of cords all tangled coming out from me and extending. I could clearly see (in my mind’s eye) seven cords. There are seven and not eight because my second husband has died and the cord attaching us has left with him apparently. Visually I look like an octopus with the six arms and two legs with one of the two legs missing.
Can you just image what a person looks like ethereally when they have had hundreds of sexual connections and partners.
I decided to do some cord cutting. Clean myself up a bit. Cut away the connection and sever the ties that bind (maybe that expression ‘the ties that bind’, is truer than we think). I visualized myself as a soul and asked to see the cords that extend from me, but just the ones that are there from a sexual interaction. Then as a third-party perspective I took a long sharp sword and slashed away at the cords, one at a time saying the person’s name as the attachment was severed. The hardest one to cut was that of my divine masculine. This cord was the thickest and it was pulsing like an umbilical.
Why, you may wonder, am I cutting away this connection with divine masculine. I am reasoning that if we were going to come together in an equally beneficial and supportive relationship it would have happened already. I am taking care of myself and it is not good for me to be pining for someone who is not interested in being fully present in my life. A few email messages then months of nothingness just will not cut it. Besides, a purely sexual affiliation doesn’t interest me much anymore.
Maybe I am just tired (exhausted) from work. I will let you know what happens (if anything) from my experiment with cord cutting. I do feel energetically lighter so far. Thank you for reading my post today and also I hope you enjoy the few paintings at the beginning. I have nothing new to share but hopefully this will change in the coming days. I love you. Hugs & Kisses, Summerhill Lane xoxo